Neil was a genuine, thoughtful and kind person who would go out of his way for anybody. He had such a good heart and time for everyone. Neil was a dedicated Dundalk FC fan and was radio Dj in Dundalk fm. He suffered from depression since his teenage years and it was well controlled on medication, that was until his brilliant doctor who had for years died and a disaster of a mental health service was left with Neil's life in their hands. The treatment and neglect he recieved was appalling and it makes me sick to the core to think of it. Neil also left many friends in the organisation Grow where he felt he could talk about his illness and he also was a leader there and it allowed him to do as he did best, give and help others. I remember after he died meeting his friends from Grow who all wanted to pay tribute to a guy who left a had helped them through their dark times and talked them out of suicide and now it was suicide that had claimed him.

 

Neil I am sorry I didn't speak up for you until it was too late. I remember years ago I used to ask you questions about depression and questioned you about whether you ever thought of doing it. I was about 9 at the time and you told me no way! I really believed you right up until the coast gaurd searched the water for your body. When me and dad found your body washed up on the beach it was the hardest moment of my life. But I'm glad I found you and not some stranger. I cursed you and called you a stupid ****** and in one way I still do, I still think how stupid you were to leave us all cause I still think we could have helped you, But its too little too late and for that I am truly sorry. I know it was the illness and what frustrates me is how professionals in the area of depression let this happen you when we tried to help you aww it makes me so mad but that won't bring you back...........

Sure you and I didnt always see eye to eye but I loved you as we all did. I have some great memories of the times we spent together and there was a lot of good times too. I used to say exactly what I thought and I didn't always understand how you could be so lazy and never go to work and why you never looked after your appearance etc but I was young then and I understand now about how depression effects people. The last time I ever saw you, you hugged me so tight when I told you I loved you, you were crying your heart out and you said thanks. As if I needed to be thanked, its thanks to you Neil, for everything. I miss you so much, its like the whole chapter of my life is gone. The house is empty and eerie now. All your stuff just as you left it. Nana still won't go down. Its so hard for everyone to know your never going to walk in the door at xmas or a birthday, when I ring the house I'll never hear "Hello 79126" again. I miss your smart comments, your laugh, watchin Fr Ted, Black Adder, Dunbelievables, Bottom etc with you. Anything for a laugh. I miss slaggin you about ur crap taste in music to discover that I actually quite like it now, what a slaggin you would be givin me 4 that! I just miss you full stop so much that I ache inside when I think of it and obviously every one does especially Nana.  

At least you have peace from your demons now. Wish you could have got it some other way in life but as I put on your headstone for a true Beatles fan such as yourself. LET IT BE. x x x x x love always NEVER FORGOTTEN. Lauren

 

 

Thank you very much SO SAD and BEST OF LUCK.